Avoiding the Pain of Love - Do You Run When Love Approaches?

How do you know you're in love? - You feel sick

Ok well that's not all you feel but it's part of it.

I fell in love properly for the first time when I was 19yrs old. I was taken aback by how utterly miserable it made me feel. I didn't feel miserable all the time, just every time we were apart. This feeling didn't last, as being 'in' love is a seemingly temporary state but it lasted long enough. Every time I have been in love since it has been the same.

When you are first dating, feeling miserable comes from wondering if they'll call, if they'll turn up for the date. But as time goes by and you are confident of those things, then the feeling comes from wondering what life will be like if they die suddenly or any scenario that may take them away from you.

So what causes this feeling, is it perhaps to do with separation anxiety? Most new mums will relate to that feeling. A deep unpleasant feeling about being separated from their baby/children.

In nature, our feelings are generally shaped by our survival needs. So perhaps it is the case that separation anxiety when associated with being 'in love' is nature's way of telling us that we are supposed to be united, together and not apart. After all in the wild, if a species who are mated become separated, the survival of the family unit is at risk. Who will guard the brood while the lone parent hunts?

Children who were raised in a state of separation from their parents for whatever reason, may find themselves as adults avoiding any situation that may initiate that feeling of separation anxiety. Being in love might thus be something to avoid and they may instead seek to be in lasting relationships with those they may not have a genuinely deep affection for. While that may seem very unsatisfactory for some, for those it may feel safer. If they don't love the person deeply, they don't need to experience the separation anxiety that dogged their childhood. They don't need to experience the grief of 'loss' if that person disappears.

Avoidance of things which cause pain may seem adequate, but with pain (as the cliché goes) comes pleasure. Being in love isn't just about being miserable, it is also about being supremely happy. Feelings of separation anxiety are overshadowed by feelings of great joy, warmth and comfort. If you are someone who has given up on love in favour of freedom from pain, consider what else you have given up. Allow yourself to be happy, allow yourself to love freely and be loved. Most of all love yourself.

To read more relationship advice and dating tips, check out my blog here: X-Posed - Secrets of The Sexes http://www.girltalk-ladiesonly.blogspot.com

Leah Gray aka creativeblogger is an Internet Writer/marketer, Problogger, Dating eBook author and Relationship Columnist. She is also a Qualified Stress Consultant and Character Analyst MASC, AMANF. She is available to hire for various Internet writing/blogging projects. For more details of those visit her home page here: http://www.creative-blogger.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leah_G

How to Make a Girl Fall in Love With You Instantly - Alluring Secrets Which Attract Her Love to You

Love is an important factor in every relationship, and yet in today's society it's a scarce thing, and it's very hard to get a girl to get to this stage. Everyone needs love and wants it; however women tend to hide their wants, and deny this feeling so that they don't get hurt. Many times you can approach a woman and go all out for her, and still find she is not in love with you. Here is how to make a girl fall in love:

Understand her, this means listening to her, and finding ways to get her feelings, actions and spirituality understood. Making her feel understood is something many men find hard to do; because women give off mixed signals, the best way to understand a woman, is to go for the ones who have a lot in common with you. Once you do this, she will start to love you.

Make her feel great about herself! Boosting her self esteem; will make her feel that you want the best for her, and treat her as if she were the world. When you think highly of her, she will be drawn to you, because you offer her support mentally, instead of just physically; and she will want to be around you more, and begin to love you drastically, since you have positive vibes; rather than negative things.

Help her to realize her potential; many men don't challenge women, and therefore she gets bored fast, and feels that you aren't worth her time; she thinks you're a waste of time. She wants to get places in life, and if you are coaching her to get there, she will feel more dependent on you as a support, and will begin to turn that feeling into love. When you guide a girl to good things, she begins to see in you in a good manner, and will associate you with nice things; ultimately leading her to love you.

An Absolute must know for you- What You Are About to Discover is Something No One Will Ever Tell You About Women. Here's a "GREAT SECRET" which will help you to pickup any women without SAYING a word to them! Not a single word! And NO rejection either. This is the most controversial & shocking revelation of what women REALLY want in a man....You Simply Can not afford to miss this at any cost. Read on....- Tell Me The Secret

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Misty_Ruttan

Friends Indeed

Friendship. Life was never created for individuals to live alone, to manage their lives on their own. Too many of us go into a place of isolation where we feel that no-one understands or indeed will understand us, worse still this place of isolation takes us to a place where we feel that nobody cares. The fact is that it is just a feeling and may or may not be the truth. Test it out. Speak out. It is not likely to be true. Why do I say it is not likely to be true? Why am I not more definite? The truth is, we need to gain clarity about whether the people we have in our lives are supportive of us or not. When you speak out, if no-one is hearing, make new friends. This you might say and think is easier said than done. On a level that may be true.

In my experience in adult life people will make friends in any number of ways. Friends of friends that have been introduced to you at some gathering or other; attendance at workshops where you meet like minded people; people you meet at work; getting involved in hobbies, or volunteering for charity work rather than engaging self-indulgently in complaining about not having friends - someone out there needs your help - who knows what friendships might develop.

Then it is about you creating the conditions to develop those friends. These may include: setting up a support group, meeting someone for lunch, etc. etc. The point I'm making is that often as adults we feel that we won't make new friends and actually this is not the case.

FIVE POWER PRINCIPLES OF FRIENDSHIP

1. Tell a friend that you love them. Truly talk today. Talk to get to the truth today. Listen today. Truly listen today, to hear today to get to the truth. Everyone in our lives is important for one reason or another. Let them know it, through a kind word, a smile or some other deed.
2. What you expect of yourself is far more important than what others expect of you. You are a powerful and worthwhile human being. Be a friend to yourself. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Expect much of yourself. Keep your promise.
3. Accept your family and friends for who they are and recognise that you can make choices about being in the same environment.
4. A circle of true sister friends or brother friends is worth more than life itself.
5. Who are you allowing to treat you less than you deserve to be treated? Stop it now. People always show us who they are and we chose to fool ourselves that we do not see.

Here are some great development exercises to build even deeper friendships

Precious circle of friends

1. Get a circle of true friends together - take at least ½ a day. Each person to have a sheet of paper - preferably A4 - create your name at the top - in whatever way you wish.
2. Get into your circle and pass your sheet to the left. On the sheet of paper that you now have in your hand starting at the bottom write something wonderful about the person whose name is at the top. Fold over your comment and pass to the person on your left and continue the process until you have the sheet of paper with your name on.
3. Have a read of all the gifts your true circle of friends have given you. Once you've taken it home, place it in a place where you can keep referring back to it. It will help you to soar to the skies at times when you feel like crawling.

Meeting new friends

1. Draw up a list of situations where you may make new friends
1. Identify what character traits you would like your friends to have
2. Make a note of what you have to offer friends - your great qualities
3. Choose one situation from one above and commit to taking a first step - choose one that you believe will be relatively easy for you to do

Friendship clutter

1. Draw up a list of people that you have around you in your life?
2. Of each of the above ask the question - do they enhance my life or take away from it?
3. Look at each friendship and ask the question - how do I want my friendships to be different and what will I do to make them so?

To download your free 200 page Licence to Live Self Development e-book -which is Jam packed with development tools and techniques, quotes, thought provoking ideas. And most of all it challenges you to lead your best life - please go to http://www.answerlife.co.uk/productsnew.html

Hyacinth is a Master Practitioner of NLP and a Master Hypnotherapist. She is a Coach, Consultant and Trainer. Highly regarded and ensures that her solutions are informative, exciting and presented in such a way to ensure all learning styles are catered for. She works with personnel at the highest levels in the private, public and voluntary sectors, up to and including members of the board as well as front line staff.

Hyacinth has worked with large public sector organisations, Local Authorities, and has some private sector experience.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Hyacinth_Fraser

7 Powerful Secrets to Attracting Women

When it comes to attracting women I find many guys end up in a self defeating circle. That is, they haven't had much luck in the past so when they meet a girl they like, they naturally expect the results will be the same as they always have been.

When you are in this situation it is difficult to find the confidence to talk to women, especially if you are not sure what it is that really attracts them. Women want more than a nice guy and from my experience here are some key qualities that will increase your chances of attracting women.

1) Be Confident - this can be difficult if you haven't had much success in the past. The key is to look at every situation as if it is the first time you are doing it. Realize you have grown since the last time you asked a girl out. Be confident, be yourself.

2) Don't Get Over-Emotional - If you are needy or clingy or just aren't together, this will put most women off.

3) No Hang Ups - It kind of goes without saying, but you will be surprised how many people will bring the past into present relationships. If the last time ended in heartbreak you don't need to bring that bitterness or pain into a new relationship. Remember no-one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Leave the past in the past.

4) Knowing How To Lead - Most women do like a man who is able to take charge. This means you do not need to ask for permission or always be wishy-washy with making decisions.

5) Make Her Laugh - I find people are a lot funnier when they are just being themselves. Find your sense of humor, enjoy life and you will be a lot of fun to be around.

6) Be Interesting - Take a risk every now and then. Be a little bit adventurous. Women will find it romantic if you do something with her on the spur of the moment. Find some interesting topics to talk about or get involved in new sports or activities. Not only will you have a lot more fun but she will too!

7) Knowing What You Want - Women want men who know where they are headed. They think these men are much more likely to be successful and stable. So don't wait around hoping for an opportunity to punch you in the nose, go out and do something. If it's a job, start making plans, working or studying. When you know what you want in life women will be much more attracted to you.

Learn powerful secrets to attracting women and find out how to make her fall in love with you with the Free Dating Guide. Instant access available at http://www.dating-tips-guys.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jean_Pettit

How to Be Confident Around Women - 3 Most Effective Ways You Can't Afford to Miss

So why does one get nervous around women? What leads to such feelings? Well there are several reasons why a person gets nervous around women but the foundation of all these reasons is uncertainty. Not knowing what's going to happen next makes them nervous and often it means expectation of a negative outcome. This is the major reason why a lot of guys out there get nervous. There are some extremely effective ways to deal with nervousness. Read on to discover what these ways are and achieve earth shattering results within no time.

How would you act if you were someone famous? - How would you act if you were someone famous? Would you still be nervous? Or would she be nervous in your company? You see the reason why we feel nervous is simply due to the fact that we feel that we are not as good as the other person due to which she might reject us. You must realize that she is nothing special but a human being just like you therefore she goes through the same emotions you go through from time to time.

Don't put them on a pedestal- This is another major reason why a lot of guys out there get nervous around women. You see when you treat a girl like she is the queen of the world and there is no one else out there like her she would automatically make you feel inferior as in the mind you already know that she is better than you. Never give her more importance then you give yourself. When you treat yourself with a higher sense of respect you will feel confident from within.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know. This is something you can't afford to miss at any cost click here- Tell Me The Secrets

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pushpa_Pal_Singh

A Happy Relationship - It's Your Choice

As with everything in life, there are various schools of thought on how to get what you want in a relationship. Here's one that, if given a chance, works very well. Oprah had a show many years ago where the theme was, "Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right?" You might be asking, "Why can't we be both?" It's possible that you can actually be both happy and right but if that's the case, be grateful for your blessings and fill the rest of us in on how that works. For the most part, we are constantly making choices to manage our relationships, our expectations, and our feelings.

My advice - choose happy! Happiness really is a choice. It's a gift you give yourself that really does keep on giving. And the best part... it's a gift you share with everyone whose path you cross.

Have you ever noticed how yawning is incredibly contagious? If you see someone yawn, hear a yawn over the phone or even hear the word "yawn", what happens? You yawn don't you? You pretty much can't help yourself. (Did you yawn as you read this?) Isn't it the same with smiling? When a stranger smiles at you, don't you reciprocate with a smile? Ditto laughing. Try it and take note of the results.

You may be thinking that yawning, smiling, and laughing are not a big deal but the point here is that the energy you project onto the world is reflected back to you. This works the same way in the microcosmic world of your relationship. You get to create the atmosphere in which your relationship lives.

Getting What You Want
So how do you get what you want in your relationship if you don't get to be right? Simple, you put your partner's needs and desires first. Notice I'm not being gender specific here. This may seem radical and counter-intuitive but think about it for a moment. If both of you are putting the other's needs first, you both get what you want, not by taking but by giving. Maybe not in every given moment or circumstance - that's where compromise comes in - but rather, in the over all scheme of things.

Here's how it works. It's Sunday afternoon, you want to watch football but your partner wants to go to the new blockbuster movie that just opened. Instead of escalating to an argument over who always gets their way, try understanding your partner's wishes. If each of you wants the other to be happy you can see several options to the problem.

• You record the football game, go to the movie and watch the game when you get home. (Make sure you isolate yourself from friends and the media until you've had a chance to watch the recording)
• You watch the football game and go to a later movie.
• You watch football and go out for a nice dinner and plan a special midweek date to the movie.
• You watch the football game and your partner goes to the movie with friends.
• You go to the movie and read the highlights of the game on the Internet when you get home but you will get to watch football all next weekend with no distractions.

You can probably think of some other options as well. The point is, if you are truly putting each other's happiness first, you will want to reach a compromise that works for both of you.

Again, you may not get what you want in every situation, but what you will get is a happy, healthy, and loving long-term relationship.

And since happiness in contagious, when the one you love is happy, you will be happy in return.

Ann Carol Cook - Please visit http://www.alongdistancelove.com and http://www.alongdistancelove.blogspot.com for more topics of interest for relationships. Be sure to sign up to receive helpful tips to keep your relationship healthy and loving.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ann_Carol_Cook

Love Comes Naturally, Relationships Take Work

My mom always told me love comes naturally, relationships take work. You can love someone, but not be compatible with them. But, if you are in love with another person, and love them with everything you have, then compatibility should come along with that love. Love includes so many different things. A wise man once told me if I want to stay with the person I love with all of my heart forever to remember the word "luck". Love, understanding, compassion, and kindness.

These past couple of months I have fallen in love. And now that I am in love, I want to do everything I can to make it work and last forever. "Luck" is the first thing I thought of, then trust and communication. You must trust your spouse completely. If you don't then you should not be with them or you have trust issues. If there is communication, there will never be confusion, or anger that builds up over time and eventually causes an explosion of emotions. That is never good. Also, compromise. (to an extent) You should know what that extent is.

No two people in this world are exactly the same, and you will never find someone "perfect." I, however, believe you will find someone you were meant to be with. You will balance each other out, and that in itself is perfection. You will love that person in spite of their imperfections. Your love for them is so strong that even their flaws don't seem like flaws to you. Maybe just...happy little accidents.

Relationships take work, and they must be maintained. Do not become lazy, just because you become comfortable. Finding that comfort zone can be a make it or break it kind of situation. I believe you should stay with someone for years before finally getting married, because when you say through thick or thin, you should mean through thick or thin. I don't ever want to get divorced.

My advice is to keep it exciting, and always be able to laugh at yourself. Always think of new ideas, new ways of doing things, surprises, and take care of your spouse and vise-versa. If you can laugh together until you both can barely breathe, I think you might have something special. Smiles. Lastly, but most importantly pray together, and thank God for one another. This is all just my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it! Here are some other sites that may help...

Memphis Marriage Counseling Memphis Family Entertainment Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brittany_Shea

10 Ways to Talk Your Ex, When They Don't Want to Talk to You

If you are like me there are times when it is very hard to talk to your ex about anything. It is extremely hard when you are willing to talk and they aren't. It seems like your ex is wielding what little power they hold over you by setting the tone for your conversations.

Back in the day, I used to get so angry when my kids' dad would not talk to me. It made me feel controlled, or that I was so unimportant. To this day he is very inconsistent in how he deals with me. If his mood is happy, he may answer his phone and interface with me. If he is not interested, he will avoid me and let messages go to voice mail. I took all of this so personally and you know what, it is personal. BUT, here is what I have figured out and you need to learn: if you are healthy and they are not, you will not get a healthy response from them. You cannot get apple juice from an orange, people. The key is this - you have to be the best ex you can be. If you are doing the right things consistently and they do not respond in kind, the problem is with them and, over time, your children will see that. The thing I know, and many like me also know, is that however you behave your children will judge you. When your children are little, things may go over their heads, but as they grow and see the world they will know who was acting as an adult and who wasn't.

There are some things that I learned in my journey that can help you.

1. Take responsibility for how you behave. If you act like a crazy ex, then you can be assured that you will not get a good response from your ex. Most people who act out with their ex are doing so as a result of unresolved anger and sadness. Assuming you do not have a pathological issue that makes you harass or otherwise annoy your ex, conducting yourself in a polite manner will serve you better.

2. Do not call to chit chat. Unless you have a remarkable relationship with your ex,you should only call them for child-related issues. If you are keeping them on speed dial to shoot the breeze, you may fall into that crazy ex category and you will find that your calls are getting screened.

3.KISS. Keep it simple stupid. Some of the best advice on the planet. State your business, be polite and succinct and then be done.

4.Be predictable and consistent. If the way that you interface with your ex is predictable and consistent then you will be better received. If the way that you interface with them is different every time, you will only keep them wondering if they are going to get the good ex or the bad ex, and they may avoid your call.

5.use e-mail. If you just can't seem to communicate with your ex, send them an e-mail with return receipt requested. This is a good way to keep them in the loop.

6.Snail Mail. Using the mail to pass along medical bills, copies of grades, or other info is an acceptable way to communicate. Not every situation regarding the kids needs to be a meet and greet. If dropping the info in the mail gets the info to them the fastest, save yourself the gas delivering it and avoid all of the face-to-face issues that could come up.

7.Take yourself out of the equation. Don't assume that the lack of response has anything to do with you. Sometimes they really are too busy, sometimes their cell phone battery did die, sometimes there was no cell service. If you don't assume that they just don't care then you can be more accepting of their rudeness.

8.Engage them in the solution. If you are unable to communicate with the methods you are trying, ask them what the best way for you to communicate with them would be. Perhaps they don't check their e-mail. Maybe cell phone calls are too distracting at work. By allowing them to help make the plan, they should be more invested in future communication.

9.Talk to your divorce coach or therapist. If you aren't sure why there is a lack of communication, ask an expert. They can offer advice on your specific dynamics and help craft a communication plan.

10.Know when to get legal. If you are operating in good faith, are not generating drama, and know that they are refusing to speak to you for no good reason, then engage your attorney to gently remind them of the need to communicate.

Just like the weather, I have found that my ability to communicate with my ex changes. There are lots of reasons why, none of which are my business and I can control. All I can do is control my thoughts, feelings and actions, so when I can't have good communication, I try something from the list and make the best of the situation.

Faydra Rector-Sargent is a Mental Health Administrator, Author, Public Speaker, newspaper columnist, Educator and Life Coach who lives in Northern California. She is a recognized expert on divorce issues and personal growth. She believes that through accepting accountability for our own lives and circumstances, anyone can achieve anything that they desire. Her innovative spirit has touched the lives of thousands as she awakens human potential and celebrates the happier side of divorce. view her popular blogs at http://faydraandcompany.blogspot.com/ and http://allaboutdivorce.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Faydra_Rector-Sargent

Why Husbands Leave - (And How to Get Yours Back)

If you've found this article, chances are your husband has either left, mentioned leaving, separating or getting a divorce, or you are afraid these things are on the horizon. This article will discuss why husbands leave and how you can use this knowledge to get your husband back and save the marriage, if that is your goal. I am writing this article from personal experience and what I learned when I spent countless hours researching how to save my marriage.

Husbands Don't Leave Because They Don't Love You: Despite what they may say or what you may have heard or might think, husbands typically don't leave because they wake up one morning and have fallen "out of love" with you. Most of them don't leave because of another woman or because of infidelity. Although they may say things like "I just don't feel it anymore," "I'm just not IN love with you," "I'm just not happy," etc., they usually mean something else entirely. What most of them mean is that they no longer feel the same way ABOUT THEMSELVES when they are with you.

Husbands Leave Because They've Lost A Feeling, But This is Usually Less About How They Feel About You, And More Of How They Feel About Themselves: More than anything, men want to feel admired and loved, and they want your attention to prove this. It's very likely that when you were first dating, you hung upon your husband's every word, lavished him with attention, and looked up at him with big adoring eyes.

Men like to feel that they are very important in our lives and that they do a good job of taking care of and engaging us. Our actions are our way of showing them that they've accomplished this task. When we validate what they do through our affection and appreciation, this makes men feel content that they've done their job well and are valuable to us. In short, our feelings about a man make him feel good about himself.

Granted, the world gets in the way. Once we've married, we have bills, kids, jobs and aging parents whom we must care for. There's only so much of us to go around. Unfortunately, most men do not think always consider this. What they see (and feel) is that they're no longer getting all of the things you used to provide that validated them. Again, the way a man thinks you feel about him (as demonstrated by your actions and the amount of time you spend appreciating and validating him) mirrors the way he feels about himself. So, when all of the things you used to do to validate him are gone, he is no longer content or feels as good about himself. Men hate the feeling that something is "off" and eventually will try to escape it, which is when they will leave.

I know this is all very unfair. I know you might be thinking something like, "Well, I can't help it that I have a million things going on and he doesn't show me much appreciation either. Do I really have to hold his hand and baby sit him this much?" Believe me, I thought the same thing and I understand this feeling. It's absolutely valid, but here's what I've learned. Marriage is a reciprocal thing. Maybe it is a bit lopsided sometimes, but if you provide your husband with what he needs, he will do the same. Perhaps not on the same scale, but simply put, if you give him what he really needs and wants (within reason), he'll do the same and vice versa. And, you will likely be happier as a result.

I understand that there are stressors and or crises that can effect your ability to do this. But, it's important to give your best effort just the same. And, the stronger your marriage, the easier it will be for both of you during times of stress as you can lean on each other.

What To Do If Your Husband Has Left And You Want Him Back: Your first course of action is going to depend on the state of your relationship right now. If it's cordial and he's receptive to you, you'll have a much easier time.

I believe that at first, you should not do a lot of explaining, promising, begging, negotiating, cajoling, discussing, etc. The best thing to do is to try and reestablish yourself as the person who he first fell in love with. Because he loved how that person made him feel - and you want him to feel this way about himself again.

It's likely that person was happy, light hearted, attentive, interested and intrigued. Now, don't be overly obvious or fake about this. The truth is, if you want your husband back, you've probably already run his good qualities and what you love about him in your mind many times. Use these thoughts when you are together and these actions should just naturally happen over time. Don't try too hard or put too much pressure on yourself or the situation. This will just cause more alienation and strain.

If, however, your husband is no longer receptive to you or you're not speaking for whatever reason, then a little strategy is in order. Basically, what you need to do here is to diffuse the situation, alleviate the awkwardness, diffuse the bitter feelings and disagreements. Then, you'll need to peak your husband's interest through your actions (or inactions). Probably at some time, on some key point, you'll need to agree with your husband and admit that yes, a break may be needed for you as well. How you do this is vitally important. It must come off as sincere and believable. There is actually video to show you how to do this.

Only once you're able to reestablish at least a start of the feelings lost should you move onto to solving difficult issues, disagreements, or working out problems. Trying to do this before feelings of intimacy have returned will likely only drive your husband further away. However, once the desirable feelings have returned, step by step, these talks will eventually make the marriage much stronger and will be easier as well.

To read the very personal story of how I saved my marriage once I finally understood these techniques, please visit my blog at http://you-can-save-your-marriage.blogspot.com/

To obtain a link to the demonstrational video mentioned in this article, as well as see what I feel are the best resources to save a marriage, please visit http://save-your-relationship-no-matter-what.blogspot.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane

Are Homosexuals Born Or Bred?

What causes homosexuality? What drives a man to be attracted to his own sex? Are homosexuals born or bred?

The exact answers to these questions are unknown and many theories have been advanced through the years to explain homosexual behavior. Not all of these theories, however, apply to all homosexuals and they themselves may have different reasons for their particular behavior.

Homosexuality is usually seen as a physical or psychological defect. The physical causes include a malfunction of certain parts of the brain, a hormonal imbalance (lack of male hormones or an excess of female hormones), a genetic defect or chromosome abnormality which is likely to occur in men born to elderly mothers.

All of this is highly debatable. While chromosomal differences exist, they do not necessarily affect sexual behavior. As for the theory of hormonal imbalance, this may occur in heterosexuals who are unaffected by this problem. Moreover, treatment with sex hormones does not always change one's sexual interest.

The idea that homosexuals are bred was popularized by a study which appears to shed light on a "gay gene." Dr. Simon LeVay, the author of the study and a neuroscientist at the Salk Institute in La Jolla, California, stumbled on that idea upon reading an early report of Lauran Allen of the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) and biologist Robert Gorski.

The UCLA study showed that a portion of the hypothalamus (higher brain center) in males was larger than that of females. This prompted LeVay to think: could the same be true with gays? Could they have a smaller hypothalamus than straight males?

After a year of pursuing this lead and studying the hypothalamus of 41 cadavers - 19 homosexual men, 16 heterosexual men and 6 heterosexual women, LeVay found the answer. In gays, the cluster of neurons called INAH3 (the third interstitial nucleus of the anterior hypothalamus which controls sexual activity) was smaller than males and almost the same size as women's.

If LeVay's theory is correct, it could offer a sigh of relief to gays who are often rejected in a society that sees them as weird or abnormal. If gayness is born or in one's genes, no doubt that attitude will change. Once a gay gene is discovered and isolated, the possibility of correcting homosexuality by manipulating such a gene is also not far behind.

But this kind of thinking leaves more unanswered questions. While sexual orientation does begin in the brain, critics said the more important question is when did it get there? While considering that homosexuals may be born different (with a smaller hypothalamus), they want to know when that difference starts - is it fetal or neonatal? Does it occur during childhood or puberty?

Critics also point out that the brain structure itself could be affected by one's sexual orientation. Circulating sex hormones are known to alter the shape of the brain according to one's behavior and vice versa. Could homosexual behavior actually be a product of early experiences which affect brain structure? Find out as we discuss the psychological aspects of homosexuality in my next article.

To strengthen your body, take Immunitril - your first line of defense in maintaining a healthy immune system. For details, visit http://www.bodestore.com/immunitril.html

Sharon Bell is an avid health and fitness enthusiast and published author. Many of her insightful articles can be found at the premier online news magazine http://www.HealthLinesNews.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sharon_A_Bell

Women in Midlife - Living Single Everyday

Do not for a moment, get it twisted and think that women in transition are lying about pining away for a man! nooo, far from it. In fact, my friend who has made a prosperous career from her freelance consulting/writing business is hardly ever available for some good old fashioned girl's night out... due in part to her social dating calendar of quality men she deems having the potential of being a" Keeper". I am also not one to languish in despair, simply because I have not yet, met my own "Keeper"... keeping busy enjoying the freedom of finding myself and liking what I am discovering during this phase of man not on board. For instance:

I am a creature of habit in that I like to sleep with few restrictions. I am loving the freedom of prancing about uninhibited in the privacy of my own space.

I love it when I can flirt with members of the opposite sex, knowing that it's not meant to be serious, unless I want it to be. I have a choice in who I want to spend my time with...invite for a drink...introduce to friends/family... form a bond of trust with...share my secrets... I love curling up with a big bowl of black walnut ice cream/watching a sappy tearjerker, or, horrid, horror flick...I like having a glass of wine while listening to a once upon a time true love sing the blues like no other bluesman can...I love that I've found my niche in freelance writing. I love that others are enjoying what I do as well...

I still find it awesome that men who are totally strangers can admire the locks I sport, or, the grey hair I am refusing to color...I'm empowered to be the me of who I am... which brings me to my reason for being. My purpose and passion for life allows me to be creative, spiritual and real, which men find attractive.

I advocate for women of a certain age who are single and living life everyday, to look for the silver lining in their midlife transitions...find that passion that might have lain dormant in the face of raising a family, supporting husbands and building friendships during the first half of your life. Today, it is time for a change for babyboomers, women of a certain age and seniors who still have a desire to live life productive and whole. And if, by chance, your 'keeper' happens in your path of living a whirlwind life, by all means be inviting and willing to give romance a second and even third time around!

Clara B. Freeman is a freelance writer/poet and columnist living in Illinois. To learn more about her work, visit her website http://www.clarawriter.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Clara_Freeman

A Happy Relationship - It's Your Choice

As with everything in life, there are various schools of thought on how to get what you want in a relationship. Here's one that, if given a chance, works very well. Oprah had a show many years ago where the theme was, "Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right?" You might be asking, "Why can't we be both?" It's possible that you can actually be both happy and right but if that's the case, be grateful for your blessings and fill the rest of us in on how that works. For the most part, we are constantly making choices to manage our relationships, our expectations, and our feelings.

My advice - choose happy! Happiness really is a choice. It's a gift you give yourself that really does keep on giving. And the best part... it's a gift you share with everyone whose path you cross.

Have you ever noticed how yawning is incredibly contagious? If you see someone yawn, hear a yawn over the phone or even hear the word "yawn", what happens? You yawn don't you? You pretty much can't help yourself. (Did you yawn as you read this?) Isn't it the same with smiling? When a stranger smiles at you, don't you reciprocate with a smile? Ditto laughing. Try it and take note of the results.

You may be thinking that yawning, smiling, and laughing are not a big deal but the point here is that the energy you project onto the world is reflected back to you. This works the same way in the microcosmic world of your relationship. You get to create the atmosphere in which your relationship lives.

Getting What You Want

So how do you get what you want in your relationship if you don't get to be right? Simple, you put your partner's needs and desires first. Notice I'm not being gender specific here. This may seem radical and counter-intuitive but think about it for a moment. If both of you are putting the other's needs first, you both get what you want, not by taking but by giving. Maybe not in every given moment or circumstance - that's where compromise comes in - but rather, in the over all scheme of things.

Here's how it works. It's Sunday afternoon, you want to watch football but your partner wants to go to the new blockbuster movie that just opened. Instead of escalating to an argument over who always gets their way, try understanding your partner's wishes. If each of you wants the other to be happy you can see several options to the problem.

• You record the football game, go to the movie and watch the game when you get home. (Make sure you isolate yourself from friends and the media until you've had a chance to watch the recording)
• You watch the football game and go to a later movie.
• You watch football and go out for a nice dinner and plan a special midweek date to the movie.
• You watch the football game and your partner goes to the movie with friends.
• You go to the movie and read the highlights of the game on the Internet when you get home but you will get to watch football all next weekend with no distractions.

You can probably think of some other options as well. The point is, if you are truly putting each other's happiness first, you will want to reach a compromise that works for both of you.

Again, you may not get what you want in every situation, but what you will get is a happy, healthy, and loving long-term relationship.

And since happiness in contagious, when the one you love is happy, you will be happy in return.

Ann Carol Cook - Please visit http://www.alongdistancelove.com, http://www.alongdistancelove.blogspot.com for more topics of interest for relationships. Be sure to sign up to receive helpful tips to keep your relationship healthy and loving.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ann_Carol_Cook

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You - Here Are the Tricks You Simply Can't Afford to Miss

Love is one thing every human desires desperately and this is something we all want to have in our life. But most of us want love from the right person and the one we normally desire. This is the major reason why you need some skills which would enable you to appear highly attractive to the person you want to be with. Read on to discover some of the most mind blowing tips using which you will be able to make anyone fall in love with you........

Make them feel special- This is one of the best possible ways to really get a person to fall in love with you. If you can make the person feel good about himself or herself that person would automatically be willing to be in your company all the time and would feel special attraction towards you.

Give them special treatment- Humans have a strong need to feel significant and we are often attracted to the one who can truly make us feel significant and good about ourselves. Therefore if you give that someone special royal treatment and make them feel like a million dollars they would be more than willing to be in your company.

Inspire them to do something they have never done- This plays a major role is making someone fall in love with you. If you can inspire that special someone to do something which he/she always wanted to do and truly believe in their abilities they would be more than willing to be with you. This happens because you give them a special drive and you see their potential which no one else normally does.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know. This is something you can't afford to miss at any cost click here- Tell Me The Secrets

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pushpa_Pal_Singh

How to Know If You Are in Love Or Not - Here Are the Astonishing Secrets You Have Been Looking For

It can be a real frustrating question when it comes to the matter of asking yourself whether you are really in love or not. We often tend to confuse love for initial attraction or mere infatuation thinking that it might be love. This is the major reason why we must know this before we make any long term commitment. Read on to discover some of the most mind blowing ways to find out whether you are truly in love or not and achieve the desired results........

Do you see yourself with this person several years from now? - Do you get puzzled when you think in the long term? Do you have any doubts in your mind when it comes to the matter of a real long term commitment? You see if this is the case then it's not love because if your love is true you will never have any doubts in your mind whatsoever.

Does your time away with this person make you real uneasy? - Do you desperately start missing this person when he or she is away from you even for a few days? You see when the love is true we tend to get strange feelings of uneasiness when we are away from the one we love. Therefore if you get such feelings then its true love.

Are you willing to do almost anything without conditions? - Another vital question you must ask yourself is what are you willing to do or sacrifice for this person. You see when your love is true you would be willing to do almost anything and everything for the one you love without any real conditions.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know. This is something you can't afford to miss at any cost click here- Tell Me The Secrets Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pushpa_Pal_Singh

Dating Tips - How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection and Deal With It!

In the dating game, nobody likes to be rejected. When that happens, it makes one feel really down and the first thing that most people would do is to find fault with themselves. I fully understand how upsetting it can be when you finally plucked the courage to express how you feel, only to get an answer that flatly says "Sorry, you are rejected"!

That's why people who have experienced rejection in dating often feel uncomfortable to date again after their first few attempts. They lose confidence in themselves and breed negative thoughts about even starting any relationship. They might even suffer from low esteem eventually.

But if you look at it from another point of view, rejection is just a numbers game. Just like when you walk into a furniture store to buy a dining table, you may not set your eyes on the first one that you see. You will most likely walk around and compare the sizes and prices of different tables. You may also have a preference for a round table instead of a square one. See what I mean?

Rejection is often just a selection process. You rejected the square dining table and eventually bought the round one because it fits nicely into your dining area. For someone else though, the square one may be perfect for them! Same goes for the dating game. You may reject someone because they are not tall enough for you, but someone else may reject you because you are too tall for them!

Rejection is often not personal. It's wise to learn how to deal with it more positively. It is not an opportunity for self-pity, but rather be positive, reflect and self-examine on the reasons why you are rejected. Sometimes, the reasons do not lie with you, why make yourself sad over it! If you don't welcome rejection, you will tread on it over and over again subconsciously. But when you learn how to let go and move on, only then you will untie the knot in your heart and allow someone else to come in.

Handling rejection requires an immediate adjustment in attitude. If the person doesn't return your interest, you may feel depressed initially, but after a day, snap out of it and move on! Feeling sorry for yourself means you have succumbed to the fear of rejection, and defeated your goal of overcoming it.

Love and dating is a complex process. If it is not meant to be, respect the other person's wishes graciously. It's just part and parcel of life's selection process. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, it just means both of you are not meant to be a couple, that's all. Don't take rejections too personally but always deal with it rationally and you will be a much happier person.

Angela is an active love coach in her community and a writer for a wedding blog.

She shares more tips about love and dating at http://yourloveangel.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angela_Tay

The Concepts Used by Singles in Attracting the Perfect Partner

Remember, you tend to get back what you give so be sure to give out good things. For example, if you want to:

Get compliments: If you want to get compliments, be sure to give them out. You partner will be thankful for the positive strokes and over time, if you keep it up and are genuine, they will likely respond in kind.

Bring back the passion: If the passion has waned in your relationship, it is time to take action. Start from the basics. Remember to continue to try to be a person that will attract passion. For example, start working out again if you have stopped, eat healthy and lose any extra pounds, be confident, fun and exciting. Your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend will respond to that and you will be able to re-spark the flame.

Encourage compassion: If your relationship has gotten a little bit stale and you two are not responding to each compassionately but instead with muted interest, put an end to it. You will encourage compassion if you give compassion. Listen closely when your partner speaks, come through for them and be their hero when they need it. As they see that you are making an effort to understand them and come to their aid, they will start returning the favor.

Bring the sexy back: If things have started to fizzle in the bed room, it is important to make some changes. Be open to learning what your partner likes and needs and then do your best to fulfill them. In the spirit of reciprocity, your partner should do the same.

Have an open & honest relationship: If you or your partner have began to close off from each other and are no longer as open or willing to share your feelings or what going on in your lives with one another, you or them has to be willing to make the first move to change things. Since you are reading this article, why don't you make the first move? Practice being more open and honest about what how you feel and what's going on in your life will increase the chances that your partner will begin to be more open and honest.

The same actions that require you to find a partner or spouse will be the same ones that you should use to keep them. Many relationships begin to suffer because the partners stop doing the things that won the partner over. Instead, they let things in stale and quit trying because they think that they have won the prize. Well, the prize is never won. The divorce rate is nearly 50%. This sad statistic means that more work needs to be done throughout the relationship. Continue to be thankful, appreciative and kind. Don't ever stop trying to be the kind of person that you want your partner to be.

Copyright © 2008
Celebrate2Day Pty Ltd.
All rights reserved world wide.

Once you learn to master the singles dating game you'll be able to attract the perfect mate and experience the magic of an incredible relationship. To find your partner, take a look at http://www.sexandtheuniverse.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ron_McDiarmid

Test of Friendship

Friends are pillars in life that help you go on and further. Sometimes it feels like the best days with friends will never end. In college or school we meet them everyday. In fact we look forward to meeting them everyday and that's what keeps us going.

For some it is very difficult to make friends because they are conservative and introverts. They would never take the first step of talking and hence take a very long time to talk to others. On the other hand we have jabbers who can talk all day therefore welcome more people to meet them hence forming bigger groups. Friendship gets deeper as we get older. To whom you can speak your heart out and to whom you have to be a bit conservative with words.

Friends are fun to be with but it is only in time of need that you will know who is a true friend and who is not. For instance someone got sick at your home and you need to call the doctor or get to the hospital at your earliest. In any case you call a friend to ask for help and he or she says she will be there as soon as she can. You know you have got a great friend. But if he or she says that her parents will not let her go out of the house so late or make some lame excuse you can understand the kind of friend you have.

But of course there are times when it is the truth they are lamenting so do not base your decision of friendship and judge a person over one circumstance. There will be a lot of incidents further that will naturally bring to you a confirmation of the friend you have. No doubt Shakespeare says, if you find a true friend then tie him with chains of steel. Meaning never let go of a true friend you find because they are a rare specie.

Get some truly inspiring friend quotes and cute funny quotes Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rajni_Seth

Is the Love in Your Relationship Still Exciting?

Do you want to get more out of your relationship to spice things up, build a reputation as a super lover and be in constant demand? What kind of things are you doing to spice things up for you and your lover?

Relationship

Share your thoughts, discuss your love relationships. Men are just as unsure about the relationship thing as women. Staying desirable for one another in a committed relationship is like prepared packaged foods-- in a weird sort of way. When passion dies in a long-standing committed relationship, what do you do? Making time for romance and love in your relationship is the one quality that a relationship simply can't survive without.

Lovemaking

Most people that try to spice up their lovemaking often end up making their experiences less fulfilling. Perhaps you want to have lovemaking more often or need tips for your very first time. Early on in a relationship, the passion and newness of your lovemaking is always unforgettable; but, as that initial magic fades, it becomes harder to make things exciting again. Do you feel like your lovemaking is getting a little stale? Of course the longer you've been together, the harder it is to keep your lovemaking exciting and hot. One of the biggest challenges couples in long-term relationships face is trying to keep their lovemaking red, hot and steamy. One of the best ways to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal. No matter how fantastic the lovemaking with their partner had been initially, it can become boring over the years.

Women

A woman likes to know she is appreciated. A woman who feels appreciated, feels sexy, and has some help with children and household chores will be more willing to make love with her husband. Men need to understand that love making is more mental for a woman while it is mainly a physical event for a man.

Men

Women may seem like they are creatures from another planet, moody and short tempered at times, seemingly unreasonable and demanding. A big mistake that too many guys make is going for a kiss in the wrong situation or place. You have to show her that you are different from other guys of your age. So guys, get ready to start talking your way up to love making and stop caring about your own satisfaction. Remember it's supposed to be a good experience for both parties.

There are many more love making tips and sex tips for those who want it. If things have settled into the same routine for you and your lover, try spicing things up with something a little different grab a book on love making tips if you have to get the creative juices flowing. The key element in all of this is communication to make sure you are both taking each others needs seriously to enhance each others experience.

LA is an established free lance writer who enjoys writing articles to give consumers enough information to make informed decisions.

For more information on health and fitness and a variety of other topics visit LA's site umeus.info

For some of the best ebooks and downloadable software online visit yourinforighthere.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=LA_Ziegler

How to Be Romantic in Your Relationship?

You may experience times in your relationship when bubble baths or candles are not enough any more to keep up the romance, and you may ask yourself how to maintain this romance, anyhow. Well, the most basic answer is that you should know how to be romantic and thoughtful at all times, not just once every month or every year, to keep up a good, deep and romantic relationship even in times of increased stress. There are some basic steps you should take if you are just curious how to maintain a romance.

Mutual Appreciation to create Romance

You should mutually appreciate each other with your partner, you should be aware of each other's needs and moods at all times. And naturally, you should not just appreciate from afar or in your mind, you should definitely show your appreciation as frequently as possible and in many different ways, buying smaller or bigger presents, leaving notes, even writing a romantic letter for example and of course, in the form of compliments. You should always know what your partner is looking for and try to compliment him or her based on his/her taste. If someone for example does not like extremely romantic baths with candles all over the house, but this is one of your favorite things, you should definitely find a balance, and though you can have these very romantic nights, you should pay attention to his/her needs as well, that is what mutual appreciation means. By showing your appreciation constantly, you will not have to ask yourself how to maintain a romance, as your relationship can be romantic naturally, and without much additional effort.

Listen and Communicate

If you are asking yourself more and more as time goes by in a relationship, how to have romance again, you should definitely keep in mind, that you have to listen to and communicate with your partner. If you have neglected communication recently, it will not be easy to bring back romance by a simple romantic dinner for example, you will have to try to establish a new dimension in your relationship, by listening to your partner's needs. By making compliments, criticizing as rarely as possible and communicating. To be able to talk with each other lovingly even after a fight is one solution if you are not sure about how to maintain a romance and this will definitely help you solve many problems in the course of the relationship. Letting your partner know that you understand his or her point of view and problems as well, and that you actually listen to them is one important step if you want to know how to have romance again.

About Author: Nirmal K writes for Online Dating Portal and has written a number of useful articles and guides under the dating tips section of the site. You may publish these articles on your site as long as you keep the above links intact.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nirmal_Keelery

Like a Lighthouse, True Love Shines For Everyone

True love--that is, unconditional love--is such a puzzle for so many of us. We give it names like agape or grace, and think it is reserved only for a certain few or that it is so rare that we have little hope of ever finding it.

Yet true love displays many of the same characteristics as the lighthouse, which is neither rare nor all that hard to locate.Indeed, the lighthouse nearly always stands on an elevated promontory, deliberately exposed to all on sea and land. Everyone is supposed to see (and hear) the lighthouse; otherwise it could not fulfill its purpose.

The mission of the lighthouse is to guide us through perils. Night and day, in any kind of weather, its steady light rotates in every direction--360 degrees--illuminating the safe harbor to travelers on sea and land. When fog shrouds its beacon, the lighthouse still shines and adds a loud horn to make sure all those within its range get the message.

Notice a few things about the lighthouse. First, its beam falls on everyone alike. Pilgrim or pirate, saint or sinner, it does not concern the lighthouse. Its rays are available equally to all, without any kind of condition or limitation. The only step they need take is to keep open their eyes (and sometimes ears). It is always their choice.

Second, the lighthouse does not demand that travelers pay heed to its warning. It does not uproot itself, wade out into the ocean, take a ship by the prow, and insist that the vessel steer toward safety. The lighthouse, by its very nature, sets the example of the "tough love" that respects others' free will to follow their own spiritual paths.

Even if a million ships pass by without attending to the lighthouse, it does not become discouraged or start to think that there is no value to its purpose. It keeps shining its light because eventually, someone will notice and will avoid danger thanks to its illumination. That is true faith.

Third, the most brilliant part of its own light falls on the lighthouse itself, demonstrating that light--and love--are a two-way street, to the benefit of both the recipient and the giver. This is perhaps the hardest lesson of the lighthouse-that giving unconditional love (light) to others is not meant to be a painful sacrifice. We deserve to receive as much love as we lavish on others.

So what does the lighthouse teach us about true love? That we all deserve it, no matter who we are or what we have done. That we cannot force our love/light on others because doing so violates their free will. As puzzling as it may seem, others have the right to reject our light/love. And, last but by no means least, that we merit our light/love as much as anyone else to whom we give it.

These are deceptively simple lessons. Simple in this case should not be equated with easy. Most of us have a tough time understanding these lighthouse teachings at even the most basic level. We hoard our love and refuse to give it to certain people or groups. We foolishly rush in where angels (lighthouses) fear to tread because we lack faith in others' free will and thus are certain we know best for them. Or we try desperately to give love while insisting that we are not worthy of it, and giving then hurts because our own cup of love is bone dry.

Yet true love--lighthouse love, unconditional love--is the simplest of all love. Perhaps that is precisely why we don't get it. We're so accustomed to complexity that we discount the validity of anything so utterly simple.

Since complexity doesn't seem to be working for us, why not give simplicity a go? Let's simplify our love and look to the lighthouse as the example of how true love really works for others--and for us.

Candace (C.L.) Talmadge is the author of the Green Stone of Healing(R)
http://greenstoneofhealing.com epic fantasy series and a political columnist syndicated by North Star Writers Group http://northstarwriters.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Candace_Talmadge