Friendship. Life was never created for individuals to live alone, to manage their lives on their own. Too many of us go into a place of isolation where we feel that no-one understands or indeed will understand us, worse still this place of isolation takes us to a place where we feel that nobody cares. The fact is that it is just a feeling and may or may not be the truth. Test it out. Speak out. It is not likely to be true. Why do I say it is not likely to be true? Why am I not more definite? The truth is, we need to gain clarity about whether the people we have in our lives are supportive of us or not. When you speak out, if no-one is hearing, make new friends. This you might say and think is easier said than done. On a level that may be true.
In my experience in adult life people will make friends in any number of ways. Friends of friends that have been introduced to you at some gathering or other; attendance at workshops where you meet like minded people; people you meet at work; getting involved in hobbies, or volunteering for charity work rather than engaging self-indulgently in complaining about not having friends - someone out there needs your help - who knows what friendships might develop.
Then it is about you creating the conditions to develop those friends. These may include: setting up a support group, meeting someone for lunch, etc. etc. The point I'm making is that often as adults we feel that we won't make new friends and actually this is not the case.
FIVE POWER PRINCIPLES OF FRIENDSHIP
1. Tell a friend that you love them. Truly talk today. Talk to get to the truth today. Listen today. Truly listen today, to hear today to get to the truth. Everyone in our lives is important for one reason or another. Let them know it, through a kind word, a smile or some other deed.
2. What you expect of yourself is far more important than what others expect of you. You are a powerful and worthwhile human being. Be a friend to yourself. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Expect much of yourself. Keep your promise.
3. Accept your family and friends for who they are and recognise that you can make choices about being in the same environment.
4. A circle of true sister friends or brother friends is worth more than life itself.
5. Who are you allowing to treat you less than you deserve to be treated? Stop it now. People always show us who they are and we chose to fool ourselves that we do not see.
Here are some great development exercises to build even deeper friendships
Precious circle of friends
1. Get a circle of true friends together - take at least ½ a day. Each person to have a sheet of paper - preferably A4 - create your name at the top - in whatever way you wish.
2. Get into your circle and pass your sheet to the left. On the sheet of paper that you now have in your hand starting at the bottom write something wonderful about the person whose name is at the top. Fold over your comment and pass to the person on your left and continue the process until you have the sheet of paper with your name on.
3. Have a read of all the gifts your true circle of friends have given you. Once you've taken it home, place it in a place where you can keep referring back to it. It will help you to soar to the skies at times when you feel like crawling.
Meeting new friends
1. Draw up a list of situations where you may make new friends
1. Identify what character traits you would like your friends to have
2. Make a note of what you have to offer friends - your great qualities
3. Choose one situation from one above and commit to taking a first step - choose one that you believe will be relatively easy for you to do
Friendship clutter
1. Draw up a list of people that you have around you in your life?
2. Of each of the above ask the question - do they enhance my life or take away from it?
3. Look at each friendship and ask the question - how do I want my friendships to be different and what will I do to make them so?
To download your free 200 page Licence to Live Self Development e-book -which is Jam packed with development tools and techniques, quotes, thought provoking ideas. And most of all it challenges you to lead your best life - please go to http://www.answerlife.co.uk/productsnew.html
Hyacinth is a Master Practitioner of NLP and a Master Hypnotherapist. She is a Coach, Consultant and Trainer. Highly regarded and ensures that her solutions are informative, exciting and presented in such a way to ensure all learning styles are catered for. She works with personnel at the highest levels in the private, public and voluntary sectors, up to and including members of the board as well as front line staff.
Hyacinth has worked with large public sector organisations, Local Authorities, and has some private sector experience.
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