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Friday, August 8, 2008

Friends Indeed

Friendship. Life was never created for individuals to live alone, to manage their lives on their own. Too many of us go into a place of isolation where we feel that no-one understands or indeed will understand us, worse still this place of isolation takes us to a place where we feel that nobody cares. The fact is that it is just a feeling and may or may not be the truth. Test it out. Speak out. It is not likely to be true. Why do I say it is not likely to be true? Why am I not more definite? The truth is, we need to gain clarity about whether the people we have in our lives are supportive of us or not. When you speak out, if no-one is hearing, make new friends. This you might say and think is easier said than done. On a level that may be true.

In my experience in adult life people will make friends in any number of ways. Friends of friends that have been introduced to you at some gathering or other; attendance at workshops where you meet like minded people; people you meet at work; getting involved in hobbies, or volunteering for charity work rather than engaging self-indulgently in complaining about not having friends - someone out there needs your help - who knows what friendships might develop.

Then it is about you creating the conditions to develop those friends. These may include: setting up a support group, meeting someone for lunch, etc. etc. The point I'm making is that often as adults we feel that we won't make new friends and actually this is not the case.

FIVE POWER PRINCIPLES OF FRIENDSHIP

1. Tell a friend that you love them. Truly talk today. Talk to get to the truth today. Listen today. Truly listen today, to hear today to get to the truth. Everyone in our lives is important for one reason or another. Let them know it, through a kind word, a smile or some other deed.
2. What you expect of yourself is far more important than what others expect of you. You are a powerful and worthwhile human being. Be a friend to yourself. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Expect much of yourself. Keep your promise.
3. Accept your family and friends for who they are and recognise that you can make choices about being in the same environment.
4. A circle of true sister friends or brother friends is worth more than life itself.
5. Who are you allowing to treat you less than you deserve to be treated? Stop it now. People always show us who they are and we chose to fool ourselves that we do not see.

Here are some great development exercises to build even deeper friendships

Precious circle of friends

1. Get a circle of true friends together - take at least ½ a day. Each person to have a sheet of paper - preferably A4 - create your name at the top - in whatever way you wish.
2. Get into your circle and pass your sheet to the left. On the sheet of paper that you now have in your hand starting at the bottom write something wonderful about the person whose name is at the top. Fold over your comment and pass to the person on your left and continue the process until you have the sheet of paper with your name on.
3. Have a read of all the gifts your true circle of friends have given you. Once you've taken it home, place it in a place where you can keep referring back to it. It will help you to soar to the skies at times when you feel like crawling.

Meeting new friends

1. Draw up a list of situations where you may make new friends
1. Identify what character traits you would like your friends to have
2. Make a note of what you have to offer friends - your great qualities
3. Choose one situation from one above and commit to taking a first step - choose one that you believe will be relatively easy for you to do

Friendship clutter

1. Draw up a list of people that you have around you in your life?
2. Of each of the above ask the question - do they enhance my life or take away from it?
3. Look at each friendship and ask the question - how do I want my friendships to be different and what will I do to make them so?

To download your free 200 page Licence to Live Self Development e-book -which is Jam packed with development tools and techniques, quotes, thought provoking ideas. And most of all it challenges you to lead your best life - please go to http://www.answerlife.co.uk/productsnew.html

Hyacinth is a Master Practitioner of NLP and a Master Hypnotherapist. She is a Coach, Consultant and Trainer. Highly regarded and ensures that her solutions are informative, exciting and presented in such a way to ensure all learning styles are catered for. She works with personnel at the highest levels in the private, public and voluntary sectors, up to and including members of the board as well as front line staff.

Hyacinth has worked with large public sector organisations, Local Authorities, and has some private sector experience.

7 Powerful Secrets to Attracting Women

When it comes to attracting women I find many guys end up in a self defeating circle. That is, they haven't had much luck in the past so when they meet a girl they like, they naturally expect the results will be the same as they always have been.

When you are in this situation it is difficult to find the confidence to talk to women, especially if you are not sure what it is that really attracts them. Women want more than a nice guy and from my experience here are some key qualities that will increase your chances of attracting women.

1) Be Confident - this can be difficult if you haven't had much success in the past. The key is to look at every situation as if it is the first time you are doing it. Realize you have grown since the last time you asked a girl out. Be confident, be yourself.

2) Don't Get Over-Emotional - If you are needy or clingy or just aren't together, this will put most women off.

3) No Hang Ups - It kind of goes without saying, but you will be surprised how many people will bring the past into present relationships. If the last time ended in heartbreak you don't need to bring that bitterness or pain into a new relationship. Remember no-one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Leave the past in the past.

4) Knowing How To Lead - Most women do like a man who is able to take charge. This means you do not need to ask for permission or always be wishy-washy with making decisions.

5) Make Her Laugh - I find people are a lot funnier when they are just being themselves. Find your sense of humor, enjoy life and you will be a lot of fun to be around.

6) Be Interesting - Take a risk every now and then. Be a little bit adventurous. Women will find it romantic if you do something with her on the spur of the moment. Find some interesting topics to talk about or get involved in new sports or activities. Not only will you have a lot more fun but she will too!

7) Knowing What You Want - Women want men who know where they are headed. They think these men are much more likely to be successful and stable. So don't wait around hoping for an opportunity to punch you in the nose, go out and do something. If it's a job, start making plans, working or studying. When you know what you want in life women will be much more attracted to you.

Learn powerful secrets to attracting women and find out how to make her fall in love with you with the Free Dating Guide. Instant access available at http://www.dating-tips-guys.com

How to Be Confident Around Women - 3 Most Effective Ways You Can't Afford to Miss

So why does one get nervous around women? What leads to such feelings? Well there are several reasons why a person gets nervous around women but the foundation of all these reasons is uncertainty. Not knowing what's going to happen next makes them nervous and often it means expectation of a negative outcome. This is the major reason why a lot of guys out there get nervous. There are some extremely effective ways to deal with nervousness. Read on to discover what these ways are and achieve earth shattering results within no time.

How would you act if you were someone famous? - How would you act if you were someone famous? Would you still be nervous? Or would she be nervous in your company? You see the reason why we feel nervous is simply due to the fact that we feel that we are not as good as the other person due to which she might reject us. You must realize that she is nothing special but a human being just like you therefore she goes through the same emotions you go through from time to time.

Don't put them on a pedestal- This is another major reason why a lot of guys out there get nervous around women. You see when you treat a girl like she is the queen of the world and there is no one else out there like her she would automatically make you feel inferior as in the mind you already know that she is better than you. Never give her more importance then you give yourself. When you treat yourself with a higher sense of respect you will feel confident from within.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know. This is something you can't afford to miss at any cost click here- Tell Me The Secrets

A Happy Relationship - It's Your Choice

As with everything in life, there are various schools of thought on how to get what you want in a relationship. Here's one that, if given a chance, works very well. Oprah had a show many years ago where the theme was, "Would you rather be happy or would you rather be right?" You might be asking, "Why can't we be both?" It's possible that you can actually be both happy and right but if that's the case, be grateful for your blessings and fill the rest of us in on how that works. For the most part, we are constantly making choices to manage our relationships, our expectations, and our feelings.

My advice - choose happy! Happiness really is a choice. It's a gift you give yourself that really does keep on giving. And the best part... it's a gift you share with everyone whose path you cross.

Have you ever noticed how yawning is incredibly contagious? If you see someone yawn, hear a yawn over the phone or even hear the word "yawn", what happens? You yawn don't you? You pretty much can't help yourself. (Did you yawn as you read this?) Isn't it the same with smiling? When a stranger smiles at you, don't you reciprocate with a smile? Ditto laughing. Try it and take note of the results.

You may be thinking that yawning, smiling, and laughing are not a big deal but the point here is that the energy you project onto the world is reflected back to you. This works the same way in the microcosmic world of your relationship. You get to create the atmosphere in which your relationship lives.

Getting What You Want
So how do you get what you want in your relationship if you don't get to be right? Simple, you put your partner's needs and desires first. Notice I'm not being gender specific here. This may seem radical and counter-intuitive but think about it for a moment. If both of you are putting the other's needs first, you both get what you want, not by taking but by giving. Maybe not in every given moment or circumstance - that's where compromise comes in - but rather, in the over all scheme of things.

Here's how it works. It's Sunday afternoon, you want to watch football but your partner wants to go to the new blockbuster movie that just opened. Instead of escalating to an argument over who always gets their way, try understanding your partner's wishes. If each of you wants the other to be happy you can see several options to the problem.

  • You record the football game, go to the movie and watch the game when you get home. (Make sure you isolate yourself from friends and the media until you've had a chance to watch the recording)
  • You watch the football game and go to a later movie.
  • You watch football and go out for a nice dinner and plan a special midweek date to the movie.
  • You watch the football game and your partner goes to the movie with friends.
  • You go to the movie and read the highlights of the game on the Internet when you get home but you will get to watch football all next weekend with no distractions.

You can probably think of some other options as well. The point is, if you are truly putting each other's happiness first, you will want to reach a compromise that works for both of you.

Again, you may not get what you want in every situation, but what you will get is a happy, healthy, and loving long-term relationship.

And since happiness in contagious, when the one you love is happy, you will be happy in return.

Ann Carol Cook - Please visit http://www.alongdistancelove.com and http://www.alongdistancelove.blogspot.com for more topics of interest for relationships. Be sure to sign up to receive helpful tips to keep your relationship healthy and loving.

Love Comes Naturally, Relationships Take Work

My mom always told me love comes naturally, relationships take work. You can love someone, but not be compatible with them. But, if you are in love with another person, and love them with everything you have, then compatibility should come along with that love. Love includes so many different things. A wise man once told me if I want to stay with the person I love with all of my heart forever to remember the word "luck". Love, understanding, compassion, and kindness.

These past couple of months I have fallen in love. And now that I am in love, I want to do everything I can to make it work and last forever. "Luck" is the first thing I thought of, then trust and communication. You must trust your spouse completely. If you don't then you should not be with them or you have trust issues. If there is communication, there will never be confusion, or anger that builds up over time and eventually causes an explosion of emotions. That is never good. Also, compromise. (to an extent) You should know what that extent is.

No two people in this world are exactly the same, and you will never find someone "perfect." I, however, believe you will find someone you were meant to be with. You will balance each other out, and that in itself is perfection. You will love that person in spite of their imperfections. Your love for them is so strong that even their flaws don't seem like flaws to you. Maybe just...happy little accidents.

Relationships take work, and they must be maintained. Do not become lazy, just because you become comfortable. Finding that comfort zone can be a make it or break it kind of situation. I believe you should stay with someone for years before finally getting married, because when you say through thick or thin, you should mean through thick or thin. I don't ever want to get divorced.

My advice is to keep it exciting, and always be able to laugh at yourself. Always think of new ideas, new ways of doing things, surprises, and take care of your spouse and vise-versa. If you can laugh together until you both can barely breathe, I think you might have something special. Smiles. Lastly, but most importantly pray together, and thank God for one another. This is all just my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it! Here are some other sites that may help...


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