There's nothing worse than an awful song on your big day, but of course, with full editorial control well and truly in the hands of the bride that's not going to happen now is it!
However, there's nothing worse than having cringe-worthy or inappropriate music playing at someone else's wedding - particularly if you're there as a distant cousin or similar who won't know any of the sentimental reasons behind the erstwhile 'perfect' song selection.
Below we've compiled our very own list of the worst wedding music to walk down the aisle to so you can avoid them at all costs, a selection which you may or may not find mildly amusing...!
- Anything in a minor key- This one is a big no-no, particularly anything which sounds 'grand' but is in fact a funeral march. Minor keys tend to sound sombre and downbeat - although you could consider this for the signing of any pre-nups.
- Anything by Elton John- Now I'm a big advocate of the fact that good ol' Elton really has come up with the goods down the year, but really? Think trying to walk in time with 'Lu-cy in-the-Skyyy with diiia-monds'. No.
- Letting anyone from your family who isn't a professional musician do their 'thang'- Whether expensive childhood lessons or the ability to sing lead in church on Sunday are the reason for offering, avoid this at all costs. If your great uncle happens to be Barry Manilow, then I'd let it go, otherwise a suitable excuse might be a non-refundable deposit, or a simple explanation that you want them to enjoy your big day and not to have to worry about music. Any further objections can be met with requests for assistance in other areas, such as standing next to your car stopping over-eager wedding day 'pranksters' from writing 'Just Married!' on the bonnet in paint stripping pen.
- Anything "of the moment"- This is clearly a bad idea. These days there will inevitably be at least one official video camera in attendance, and if not, at least one smartphone between three people capable of recording the whole event. And in ten years' time, when you proudly show off the video (or someone finds it on Youtube) you will cringe at ever having listened to that awful song. No, you will... trust me.
- Theme tunes- This is perhaps somewhat controversial, given that some couples probably love T.V. shows and would see no issue in going down the aisle to the theme to 'The A-Team' or 'Star Trek Next Generation' although it seems a little tacky. I suppose if you have no shame and people still turn up after seeing the invitations, then it might just pass. Just not at my wedding...
- Silence- I guess this goes without saying, but imagine you didn't plan any music at all... Just imagined happy faces and laughter, a buzz of voices and then.... silence. Woah... that would be a little awkward.
- J&K Style Wedding Dance (Unrehearsed)- For anyone who doesn't know, J&K had a song play as they, and the entire wedding party streamed down the aisle doing their very best Friday night moves. The result was pretty cool, because they could dance moderately well and it subsequently went massively viral on YouTube. However, a poor attempt to copy this, or the wrong type of guests would just be disastrous.
- Kids Choirs / Bands- They say in movie business, "never work with children or animals", and while there is (probably) no good reason why you should have any animal bar a horse (and coach) involved, involving children will create an additional task to be concerned about on your big day and is probably best avoided.
- Heavy metal if you are not a Goth- Clearly there is no reason to be having heavy metal at a wedding. Period. Unless you are a Goth.
- Bagpipes if you are not Scottish- This is actually more of a personal one. Bagpipes in a Scottish wedding, where both the bride and groom are at least fifty percent Scottish is acceptable. In any other nationality and it is just odd now, isn't it?
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